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  • HW Writing: Promote Yourself – Feedback

  • Solomon Hernandez

    Member
    22.03.2022 at 20:02

    Nice work writing your profile! You were very detailed and shared a lot of information about yourself. You also used correct tenses most of the time, so keep that up. Here are some things I noticed though. First, you could’ve included short bullet point details like the ones given as examples in the material. Check below as an example:

    “Name: Alexandra

    Location: (someplace), Russia”

    Additionally, it’s not entirely clear what your target audience is supposed to be. I feel like it’s geared more towards something like getting a job, which in that case you could’ve organized it to seem more formal. If it’s just a casual profile to share about yourself, maybe you could’ve shortened the details about your studies and talked a bit more about your personal interests. There were also some grammar errors so please check the comments I notated in the document.


    All in all, though, it’s still a pretty good profile!

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