Content – 5. You gave a lot of information about the picture (who, where, how do they feel, why). Well done!
Organisation – 2. Good use of linking words (at the same time, because). I took 3 points down, here’s why and what to do:
– divide the text into paragraphs, so it’s more clear;
– be careful when you divide a sentence into many sentences. Is it necessary? (‘He doesn’t know what he need to do. Like his parents. Because in the country hunger and poverty’)
– try to speak about general facts first, then details, so the ideas are easy to follow. For example, who can you see –> what are they doing –> what small details can you see.
Vocabulary – 4. I liked that you used some advanced words: poverty, downcast, crossed his arms. I took one point because the sentence with ‘shape’ was difficult to understand. You can shpae an opinion, for example.
Grammar – 4. You see the difference between present simple and continuous well. Remember to use ‘to be’ (They just standing, in the country hunger).
Overall, I really liked your ideas, the vocabulary you’ve used and I see that you understand the grammar better. Look at my advise about organisation the next time.