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  • 3.3 HW: Writing – Descriptive Essay

  • Solomon Hernandez

    Member
    14.09.2022 at 22:26

    Hi Liliya! Pretty good job on your essay. You had a decent introduction and your essay was cohesive as a whole. Here are some things you can improve on.

    First, for the second feature, it feels a little underdeveloped, so it would’ve been better if you expanded on this a bit. Maybe you could’ve given an example of a modern technique or method. You also introduced the importance of students’ individual differences, which would’ve been interesting had you explained it further. Explain why that’s important and how it can help.

    Next, for the third feature, you highlighted the importance of technology. However, you never really explained what kind of technology you’re pertaining to and how exactly it could help. It would’ve been nice to get more details about this.

    Lastly, just be careful with some of the grammar, punctuation, or language used. For example, you wrote “teacherы” instead of “teachers. Instead of “methodics”, you can just write “methods”. “In that case students don’t spend time on not interesting or not understanding things” can be “In that case, students won’t spend time on uninteresting or hard-to-understand subjects/topics”.

    For the first feature, you wrote “so that students can show their best sides they can choose the best subjects”. It would sound a bit stronger if you change it to something like “so that students can show their strengths, they should be allowed to choose the subjects that best suit them”.

    Your essay was pretty great overall. Just try to incorporate some of these suggestions in the future.

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