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  • 3.3 HW: Writing – Descriptive Essay

  • Solomon Hernandez

    22.09.2022 at 11:54

    Nice work on your essay. You covered a lot of the needed point. Here are some of my notes.

    First, it would’ve been better if you had a proper introduction paragraph. For essays, it’s not ideal to start it off with a bullet point list. Try to properly introduce the topic of an ideal school, and then you can mention the three key features.

    Next, your third feature feels a little vague. It seems like it’s taking aspects from both the first and second feature. For example, “education approach” is very related to “learning” in the second feature. You also mentioned “physical setting” which is what you talked about in the first feature. It would’ve been better to talk about something more specific.

    Also, be careful of some grammar mistakes. There were quite a few of them, such as “must to include”, “for an instant”, “come truth”, etc. Try to make use of a grammar checker, like Grammarly, to pinpoint any mistakes and so you can take note of them too.

    It was a decent essay overall though. Just try to work on some of these things I’ve noted.

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